How does she do it?
I’ve often found myself asking; how does she do it? She seems to have it all figured out. Being a mother can be a rather overwhelming task, it’s hard enough trying to juggle work, a relationship as well as all your personal strife. Add a little one to the equation and the sense of responsibility is multiplied to such an extent that adulthood is no longer an option. Priorities change and you are constantly asking yourself weather you will ever figure this out and if you will ever really feel like you are in full control of your life. Then without a doubt you compare yourself to other mums, wondering how the hell they manage it all and find the time to wear the right outfit and have great looking hair when it hardly feels like you ever get the chance to simply shampoo it. They dress immaculately and you left the house in such a rush you actually didn’t take one last look at the mirror before leaving, or let’s be honest, you did but could not be bothered to go back and change that shirt even if it didn’t really match those bottoms just like you initially imagined it would.
I was at a wedding some time ago and was introduced to a young working mother who congratulated me on a project I was working on and then to my surprise, she asked me ‘How do you do it? How is it you manage to find the time?’ It took me some time to actually process the question and answered…I don’t do it, I’m a mess, really! She laughed as if she didn’t really take me seriously and then it occurred to me that we have all compared ourselves to other woman, looked up to them and wondered how it was that they kept everything going. Some people just make it look so easy. But when you look at someone’s life from the outside it’s easy to overlook the struggles, the hustle, early mornings, late nights, the sacrifices, the tears, the meltdowns and the time invested. If this woman thought I had it all figured out she definitely got the wrong idea because I always feel like I’m struggling, trying to keep up with my family’s needs.
This helped me realise that we all build a picture based on a perception we may have of a person that doesn’t in any way reflect reality. No woman out there is perfect and therefore no one is able to master a perfect life, we are all struggling to get by, day by day. Comparing our lives to that of others is not only counter productive but it’s also setting unrealistic standards which can leave us feeling rather frustrated. We should be more concerned on working on our own list of priorities and find out what works best for ourselves and our families, making it easier for us to move away from the superficial, thus investing time in what really matters.
So if you are looking at a fellow mum wondering how she manages to do it all so effortlessly, probably she’s feeling overwhelmed just as much as you are.